I haven't been putting down any thoughts here because my brain has been so lazy I haven't felt like writing.  It only took a couple of drunken nights for me to stop writing in my one line a day book.  Sometimes when I'd be driving around or something things would pop into my head and I'd want to put them down somewhere, but I'd just abandon the idea.  I've been conversing in the same way.  I want to talk about things with people, but expressing myself feels like too much trouble so I only ever put 50% into talking to people and what's worse, I keep chatterboxing in an errant way that is kind of boring and making really funny stories less funny because I don't want to put forth the effort.  This morning, though, while driving I felt like spewing out my feelings again and letting it all out and talking about the things that have happened and the things that come to mind when I'm idle.  I've been so afraid and only ever able to sum up occurances in a sentence or two to myself.  I have been thinking about so many things, like my job and my life and why that one boy stopped writing back to my e-mails after the time we had breakfast.  I thought I had conversed perfectly and had been dressed adorably and showed sympathy at the appropriate moments, but after that he never wrote back to me again.  He never did take me to the Pizza Hutt/Taco Bell...and he seemed so sincere!  I didn't have the guts to call, but I thought to myself jeez, one bad experience with someone I'll never know and you decide you aren't lonely.   My brain always arrives at the logical conclusion that it doesn't matter.

One of my ex-boyfriends got married last week; weird.

Today I felt like writing about my road trip, too.  Like now it was long enough ago (although it really probably wasn't).

I had this weird dream that my car broke down and I bought a used orange hoopdi car. I went to the bank and when I came out I couldn't find my car in the parking lot because every car was orange in honor of the SF Giants.  I was really late to meet a friend at Weinerschnitzel, so I panicked and decided that the best solution was to retrace my steps on my bike.  I kept biking in fast-forward all over the entire state of California in circles looking for my car.

Last night someone told me my conversations are disjointed.