is everything too hard or am i just too soft?

december 2012

 Tomorrow I go back to work after an exquisite break.  I am terrified.  Not just generally but in a real, tangible way about Actual Things.  Last night I had a nightmare about a living rosary made out of cockroaches that was crawling around on my desk.  I screamed and woke my self up.  The night before that I had a dream about sitting alone at the bar while some stranger played "sad songs on the guitar" only just loud enough for me to hear.  Related, probably, to my hesitant desire to stop drinking forever.  

No worries though, I don't expect to be able to sleep tonight.

random burned-up player piano in West Oakland

Japanese people have now made llamas cute.

Pam, Yerba Buena Gardens, San Francisco

pork belly @  Brenda's French Soul Food

 A CD I found in my friend's garage

I went to a parol festival in San Francisco with my sister and my mom.  My dad, as usual, didn't want to go.  A parol is a Filipino fancy xmas light shaped like a star, modeled after the star of the Magi it's a religion thing, but I still think they're so beautiful! I want one!.

 Little Sheep Mongolian Hot Pot with my sister.  We ate sooo much that day. Pam, with her small appetite even held her own. This place has the best hot pot ever.

 This wasn't mine. I got this bowl of ice cream @ Tara's Organic Ice Cream for my friend Keishi, who has just been so great this break. ♥  He deserves so much more than a bowl of ice cream but I think the olive oil and pink Himalayan rock salt are a start.

god help me